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Bear Pool Party Food, Fun & Fur!

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52 august 2014

photo: murray4mayor.com

I'm in my mid-40s. About two years ago, I had a one-night stand with a 19-year-old college student who placed an ad on Craigslist looking to meet older guys for no-stringsattached fun.

We had a good time. He was charming, intelligent and fun. I was surprised to learn during our conversation that he hoped to pursue a career in my profession. I gave him some advice, and we went our separate ways.

Flash forward two years. We are looking for some temporary summer intern-type help, and we got a resume from a qualified person looking for a summer job. We brought the candidate in for an interview, which my supervisor and I conducted. To my surprise, the applicant was the one-night stand.

We obviously did not discuss our prior meeting during the interview, but by the brief, mild look of surprise on his face, my guess was that he was as surprised as I was. He handled himself well in the interview. My supervisor intends to hire him. I would be his direct supervisor. There would be no way around this if he was brought in for the two-or-three-month job, but our contact would be almost exclusively via email.

My instinct is that our prior one-night stand shouldn't disqualify him from the job. He's qualified, and my colleague wants to hire him ASAP. What are your thoughts? Any red flags? How should I handle this? Should I broach the subject with him? I don't want to insult his intelligence or even hint that I think he's using our meeting two years prior to land a brief summer job. Again, I am convinced he didn't realize he was going to interview with me.

Nervous Supervisor Anxious

Lots of red flags I could spin out a few Worst Case Scenarios but the kid is qualified, he handled himself (and only himself) well during the interview, and your supervisor plans to hire him. Under the circumstances, NSA, I don't see how you can avoid supervising this guy for the summer.

What would you say to your supervisor? "Hey, look I sometimes cruise Craigslist looking for young-but-legal ass, and I fucked this kid a couple of years ago, so... let's interview a

Bear pool party? I wonder if they are serving salmon...

few more candidates, and hopefully I won't have fucked any of them."

I agree that the kid shouldn't be penalized for having a consensual one-night stand with an adult who was a stranger to him at the time. So have a quick face-to-face word with your new hire on his first day. Acknowledge the awkwardness privately and verbally (put nothing in writing), tell him the hiring decision wasn't yours and he got the gig on his merits, and close with something like: "Things between us will be strictly professional from now on, of course and, hey, crazy coincidence, huh?"

Then stick to emails for the duration of his internship.

I'm a gay man who is about to turn 35. Somehow, 30 didn't bother me, but being halfway to 70 is freaking me out. The gay world is obsessed with youth and beauty, and once you're not young and hot anymore, your life may as well be over. If you don't have a tight ass and ripped abs and a hot cock, you have no value and nothing to contribute. Why is the gay world so shallow?

-One Very Enraged Romantic

Ed Murray (pictured right) was 58 when he became mayor of Seattle. Larry Kramer was 52 when he inspired the founding of ACT UP. Bayard Rustin was 51 when he organized the 1963 March on Washington. Harvey Milk was 47 when he was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Barney Frank (pictured left) was 41 when he was elected to Congress in 1981 and 73 when he retired last year.

Neil Patrick Harris was 41 when he won a Tony. Jonathan Capehart was 40 when he joined The Washington Post editorial board. Tony Kushner was 37 when he won the Pulitzer Prize for Angels in America. George Takei (77), RuPaul (53), Andrew Sullivan (50), Andy Cohen (46) I could go on.

If you don't think gay men over 35 or 50 or 60 or 70 have anything to contribute, OVER, then it's not the "gay world" that's shallow, it's you.

On this week's Savage Lovecast: Spanking, cheating, pervy cousins, and sleeping with the cab driver: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net/@fakedansavage on Twitter

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